Show Me More Black Love, Please

This topic has been heavily on my mind and I thinks it’s safe to say that I must speak up.
P.S If you follow me on Instagram you will remember that a couple of weeks ago I mentioned black love on my Instagram stories. An old acquaintance of mine commented and stated that I should call it ‘African Love’ instead of ‘Black Love’. He believed that most black people do not consider themselves African and that I should change the name of it. However, I believe the term “Black” has a strong definition behind it as well as the fact that it serves as a universal definition. It defines our blackness as a whole. Whether blacks believe they have some sort of an African background or not is a whole another debate on its own.
For quite some time now I’ve observed the way black communities raise their children, interact with others and most importantly the way in which they go about specific topics. Being that I am from an African descent, I’ve grown up lacking the understanding of many topics such as marriage, love and intimacy. I grew up learning these important human issues through my own experiences(mistakes), researching and just talking about it. One thing I must say is: WE NEED TO SHOW MORE BLACK LOVE.
Let’s face it, the black community has been stigmatized for having a bad reputation especially in the relationships we partake in. To the outside world, our men are cheaters, liars and inadequate of showing true love. We constantly bicker and fight with other black women over men. We don’t participate in romantic gestures compared to other races. All we know how to do is have children out of wedlock and so forth. Although, some of these statements are true, it is an inaccurate description of black love.
However, when you see images of black love such as traditional weddings, baby naming ceremonies or romantic films, these images become under-shadowed by negative images of “black love” in shows like Love & Hip-Hop and images of couples and stories from other races.
It wasn’t until college where I realized that I had not seen any true definition of black love. I realized that I had no prime example or role model of what it means to love. I had no real example of what it means to have God as the center of your relationship. Truth be told, I didn’t come to understand how important it is to pray over your marriage and even invest your time in protecting your future. I instantly began to desire love and desire it in its most truest and rawest form. Sadly, the discussion of love, sex and marriage is such a hidden topic in Black/African homes. Parents often times run away from these kind of discussion. I am not sure if it’s because it’s a difficult topic to discuss or it’s something they feel that their children will eventually learn or because it’s such a private matter. It has affected us so much to the point that when we get into relationships, we don’t know how to communicate our feelings or we are in fear of being too expressive. All I know is that we need to do better!
Now you may be wondering, why are you discussing black love? My answer: ITS IMPORTANT! The following statements are my own personal opinions.. you don’t have to agree but I am stating this to make a point.
To me, I believe no one understands you more than someone who comes from the same background as you. It’s easier and gives you and upper hand in your relationship. Secondly, it helps grow the culture and most importantly helps teach future generations like our children to understand the essence of where they come from. Thirdly, it brings a collaborative effort to showcase our love respectfully, honestly and beautifully. Lastly, it allows us to change the negative past of the relationships before us. For me, I am going to marry an African man. Now, I am not saying that you are obligated to marry someone from your own race. After all, you cannot help who you fall in love with. To each it’s own, however this is something that I stand by.
My point being here is let’s talk about it. Let’s stop hiding that sex and intimacy is not part of the human race. Let’s be honest with our feelings. Let’s do better in our relationships. Let’s stay true to what we feel. Let’s show real examples of black love.. because black love exists!
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