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Do you have a problem with saying “No” to people? Do you always feel obligated to attend every event you’re invited to? Are you pressured by family and friends to satisfy them by attending their special occasions? If so, I am here to tell you STOP. It’s not always in your best interest to be Mr. Nice Guy. Over the last few months, I have learned that saying “no” has put me in charge of my life and most importantly my money!

FOMO also known as the Fear Of Missing Out is described as the anxious feeling that can arise when you feel that there are more exciting things happening out there and you’re not present. This is a real issue that affects many people especially teenagers and young adults. I mean how can we not fear missing out when there are so many things happening such as parties, group outings, concerts, and even social media. Especially when you’re home or at work, social media can add to this anxious feeling. Perhaps you decide to stay in and enjoy a movie but happen to check your Snapchat and see that all your friends are going out. From then on, you make it your business to be at every social event involving your friend group.

A Little Back Story

Before I started college, my parents were very strict with me. Compared to my peers, I was not allowed to go to parties, movies or any social event. I was only allowed to attend school events at a certain time along with events involving my extracurricular activities. Upon starting college, I was free to do anything I want. Yes, in my freshmen year I went out every weekend. I drank, I came back to my dorm at late hours and I sometimes lost sleep for hanging out with friends on school nights. I did it all! BUT… I got tired of that lifestyle once I started my second semester. ( Pretty early right?) I got tired of going out every night and being tired the next day. I got tired of not being able to check off my to-do list because I used my spare time on unnecessary things. FOMO is at its all-time high during your college years because of the fact that you’re pressured to enjoy ” the best 4 years of your life”. Don’t get me wrong I don’t mind going out but my goals and aspirations have changed me into an introvert and focused person. ( FYI- I am still a fun person and I love going out but I have my limits)

What you must understand…

Being at every function is rather a loss to you than fun. I’ve learned since declining social events and certain commitments that I have saved so much money. In reality, going out every other day or on the weekend is a huge budget cut to your pocket and to be quite honest expensive and tiring. Calculate how much you spend when you go out. You will thank me later. Also, if you are just like me who works 25+ hours a week plus school you don’t even have the time to go out if you wanted to. Let’s be honest, if you did, you would be drinking coffee and red bull while you’re sitting at your desk ( guilty). Instead of going out on a constant basis… give yourself a limit of only going out 2-4 times a month. After all, we are human and need a little bit of social time.

Secondly, keep it short and simple. If you can’t make it, you can’t make it! Don’t force it or try to please people. For me, I am such a busy person and don’t have time to be at every place. Yes, I often feel bad but my body and bank account has thanked me. If you’re a nice person like me and find yourself in situations of finding it hard to say “no”, remind yourself of your commitments as an “adult” and how this may affect your goals and responsibilities. Don’t try to drag your answer by saying, ” I will let you know” when you already know your answer. It is either yes or no! Thirdly, you don’t want to be that person where everyone knows your face and everyone knows you will be at every function. It is not a good look, trust me!

I have mastered the art of saying “NO” to the point that some of my friends don’t even bother to ask me if I want to go to dinner or a trip. Granted, I’d love to go but once you get older and wiser you understand that you must work hard and then party harder. I hate going out and feeling as though I have so much work to do or that I should be doing something more productive. Granted, I don’t like to let work consume me.. this is where organization and time management comes into play. It’s a sacrifice you have to make…

I hope this has helped you get an idea of balancing your “yes” or “no”. If you have any questions about how I balance my work/school life with fun, feel free to message me!

P.S I am currently writing this blog post at 7AM at work..always use your downtime for your to-do-list!

 

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2 Comments

  1. January 17, 2019 / 1:16 pm

    I enjoyed this read so, and identified so much with it. I was also like, when I was with my parents, going out was not something I could even think about. And then i got my “freedom” and became a wildcard. I went out everyday of every week, but for me that lasted almost 2 years. I am just so grateful that Jesus took me out of that mess.

    • bpsench
      Author
      January 21, 2019 / 6:15 pm

      Amen girl! Sometimes we don’t understand that our parents were doing this for our own good!

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