Dealing with Judgmental “Friends”





There is nothing worse than feeling like you’re being judged, ridiculed or shamed…especially from those who you call “friends”. It is even worse when you have to pretend or hide things from those you seek comfort in. In reality, we would like to think that those who judge us are those who are envious of us.

I am sure you’re wondering..“Why in the world is she discussing this topic?” Truth be told, I usually let the Lord direct me. If you follow me on Instagram you will remember that I did a brief Sunday chat discussing this topic. Shortly after, someone who I had met in college confronted me and said that I had judged her years ago for her lack of writing and English skills. Although I do not remember doing so, it does not change how she feels. I immediately apologized and told her that the person she met years ago is not the person I am today. As they say, you cannot speak about any issue you haven’t been through before.

Over the years, I have been surrounded by people from all walks of life. The good, the bad, the ugly, the pretty… you name it! However, for quite some time now, I have found myself being more of an introvert than ever before. During my adolescence years, I was very outgoing, friendly and always willing to make friends. Fast forward to now, I am very hesitant with who I share my personal issues and time with.

Sometimes when I am surrounded by specific people, I feel as though they judge me for what I do, how I carry myself and how I choose to go about my life. In a way, it is as if some of these people feel they know better than me or they feel as though they have some kind of power over me.. WRONG! In life, I like to believe that no one is perfect. Actually, no one is perfect so why should we judge each other. Everyone learns life in a different way. No one has the right to ridicule or judge anyone based on their actions or decisions. We are not God!

Recently, I was talking to a friend who scolded me in the past for something that I was doing for a very long time. Unlike other people, she did it for my own good. She did it not to judge me but to correct me. As we spoke, I thanked her and apologized to her for being mad at her.

On the other hand, I have found myself surrounded by people who I have to hide who I am as a person. Why should I have to hide my preferences or what I am going through just to please you? That is absolutely wrong. In some instances, I have been excluded from get-togethers or simple dinners because I am “different”. I realized that after some time, my presence bothered them. In order for them to feel better about themselves, I was not allowed a seat at the table. Not only have I had to hide who I am, but I have also been unable to vent to them. After all, If someone is my friend, I should be able to talk to them about any and everything.

I realized not everyone is going to be your friend. Not everyone is going to like you. Not everyone is going to want the best for you. Not everyone is going to respect and value your presence and that is perfectly okay. You have to be VERY observant of the energy that surrounds you. It can have a big impact on you.

If you find yourself in these very situations, you need to let go and let God. You are not obligated to hold on to people in your life just because you’ve known them forever. This is not pleasing to you or God. I’ve learned that when God is taking you to a different level, people will drop in and out of your life like flies. This is supposed to happen. Those who understand you and understand what you’re going through will stick with you through the good and the bad. Although they may not agree with you 100%, they will recognize that everyone goes through their season. They will understand that your time will come.

Do not let judgmental people suck your positivity out! Never live for others but yourself. Do what makes you happy in the eyes of God…


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  1. January 25, 2019 / 12:49 am

    I love this post <3
    We all need people around us to sharpen and encourage us, but we have to choose wisely!

    • bpsench
      January 25, 2019 / 1:01 am

      Very wisely! Thanks for the feedback!

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